Darker Times Forgotten, A Survival Mechanism

This piece I wrote about depression gets highlighted every once in a while:

I Cannot Summon That State Of Mind: In And Out Of That Depressive “Fog”

This was highlighted yesterday:

This hypothesis, along with regular pruning of memories as we grow older, does seem plausible still. Mental states are unknowable to others. Current mental states are knowable, as we are experiencing them, though we may lack the tools to analyze them. Past mental states are no longer accessible, except through memories. Is this some lost undiscovered country that can still be explored? I am not so sure.

I know roughly how I felt at my worst. I know I struggled not to burst into tears many times at work, for example. I know my self-medication was solitude out of shame, and naps. I know I ate many cheeseburgers, and drank much beer.

Having reached a place of decent mental hygiene, it is a vital and daily task to maintain that mental hygiene. “It’s wasn’t so bad” is a terrible way to deal with depressive or anxious episodes. Each one was always bad, but the relief of exiting the darker mental state was so great, and the subsequent happiness (or at least, lack of sadness) washed it away as a wave washes away sand on a beach. This, unfortunately, led to not dealing with the problems in any…