The Depression Suite

When everything is not quite in focus.

I thought that each piece could be set to music. That has not happened yet. This piece is an attempt to capture some ineffable feelings. “Who is ‘Matthew’?” Father, son, educator, human- a man of too-too solid flesh. Man of tender flesh and breakable bones. 42 years old, of sound mind and ready to begin.

Come again, the fog.

I

“What’s gone wrong with Matthew?” He sits there and looks sad and I can see the sadness, he wears it like a cloak of darkness around him. I can’t protect him take it from him pull it off his body. He seems to disappear and he doesn’t listen, doesn’t answer questions, doesn’t look me in the eye-

II

I never understood the darkness inside, that travels from my guts to my brain and exists my head as the fog that settles on me like a blanket, a cloak.

I only know I wrap myself in it like a warm blanket, my only comfort, other than the sweet temporary relief of sleep.

There is comfort in being sad, oh yes.

III

You, you you-

are not you.

Don’t look in the mirror, your face might break apart, shatter into pieces, the…